Exhausted

Lama gla x sentuh laptop..last skali aku guna laptop aku hri ahad pstu,aku xde masa nk bukak laptop..balik umah, mkn, tgk tv pastu tdo pstu bgn pg keja...cmtula 5 hari aku berlalu..agak penat la..kasut aku dh koyak terok gler. haha...aku ada kasut lg kt umah Shah Alam tp aku xde masa nk ambik so biarla..sepupu aku suroh guna kasut dia,even nk try kasut sepupu pon xde masa..so, boleh tgk la aku bz cmne kn..huhu..

hidup aku skrg, bdpan dgn customer je hri2..tp aku suka...itu meningkatkan lagi aku punya ability untuk communicate dgn org..bnde tu penting utk masa dpan and at the same time i can earn money to pay my debts..hopefully aku dpt duit lebih sket bulan ni,so that aku bley simpan utk byr hutang, simpan utk blnja sebulan n byr sepupu aku...kesian de..huhu...ambik hntr aku hari2...huhu..aku plak x reti drive..huhu....agak pyh utk seorg berumur 22 tahun utk bergerak xde lesen..huhu...dhla xde lesen,drive pon x reti..huhu...

aku hrp suma akan berjalan lancar..huhu..aku harap suma hal selesai bulan ni..aku mls nk pk byk2 since aku penat gler..

huhu...hope that next week is another week for me to enjoy earning money for life..i love money...wwee!!

Baking Life

I am very tired of working but i am very satisfied even though i damaged 3 cakes and i am very terrible in english (yet i still have the guts to write in english)..I am sleepy but i have to wait for my vampire diaries to finish downloading..

I can't wait for tomorrow because my boyfriend is going to see me. I miss him so much though i just met him last thursday but we used to see each other every day, so 3 days is like 3 weeks.

Okay stop talking nonsense.

My work is more or less like Baking Life Facebook game just that there is no kitchen involved. I meet with different people everyday. i used to think that rich people is rude and ridiculous but i was wrong (sorry rich people!). Well, i served the eldest daughter of Malaysia's first prime minister for almost 3 days now.

Ok, saya tahu saya agak sakai dlm hal2 begini namun, saya lebih suka berjumpa dgn org yg pnah serve negara rather than celebrities. (KENAPA AKU GUNA SAYA?)..haha..aku xtau la..aku xbley nk download brg kalo aku x bgn..fhm x mksd aku? sukatila kalo x fhm pon tp yg pasti aku msti hbskan episod 1 ni kalo x, watpe aku tunggu lama dr pukul 11 td..huhu...

just want to say that i miss my boyfriend so much..huhu...

Bingung

Aku benci jd org dewasa sbb terlalu byk bnda aku kena fikir...especially psl umah..especially dealing with people...seriously, people is the most difficult thing to deal with..aku x lrt nk guna duit aku utk cover duit sewa...aku x lrt...tolongla seseorg ringankn beban aku ni..duit aku byk abs utk cover duit sewa je..huhu...aku hrp la semua berjalan lncar..sbb aku nk fokus kerja, byr utang n guna duit yg ada utk tampung kehidupan aku ni..huhu...one day,im going to find one house which i dont have to deal with any of these anymore...

I may look dumb, but i dont live far away from home for nothing

Seriously, aku mmg la nmpk cm bodoh. Aku mls nk ambik kisah psl bnda yg aku rasa xda kena mengena dgn aku..so, bla aku ckp aku xtau,bukan mksd nya aku xtau...aku tau cuma aku mls nk masok cmpur psl org. So, x pyhla nk ckp aku ni xtau pa2..Ko ckp mcm tu as if aku ni bodoh sgt nk fhm psl hidup ni. Ko sape? Setakat ko kenal aku dr kecik n ko ingt aku ni naif sgt psl hidup, xyhla ko nk judge aku n bg malu aku kt dpn org ramai. aku mmg xde function utk sape2 dlm life ni. but i try my best to be somebody so that one day, people will respect me for what i really am. Dh cukup aku rasa aku ni menyusahkn mak ayah sbb aku std jaoh dr umah n parents have to send me money every week so that i can eat, u dont have to make it even worst. aku moral down gle kot sbb apa yg ko ckp.

aku ambik iktibar dr apa yg jd kt kwn aku. experience ni bukan limit utk pengalaman yg ko experience sndri. mcm2 la jd dlm hidup aku ni, x pyh ckp la pe. apa lg yg org x pnah buat kt aku? mntak jaoh la yg plek2..tp setakat ni, aku dh rasa mcm2 cara org treat aku. ko ingt aku ni bodoh. ko ingt aku ni budak yg kalo pg hentak kepala kt dinding aku bley ckp 'aku nk lg,aku nk lg'.

jgn la drag boyfren aku skali. biarla de nk mcm mat skema pon. kaco hidup ko ke? ko bangga la kalo kwn dgn samseng muka parut2? tolong la..aku dh tau byk sgt org cmtu sbb pe aku nk bkwn dgn org2 cmtu? jgnla judge org ko x knal lgsg..cukupla ko buat kt aku. sakit ati aku. sian kt boyfren aku kot. ko x knal de,jgn ckp mcm2. hormat la sket. ko tu dh tua. hidup pon bukan betol sgt kalo ko nk ukur hidup ko dgn laptop yg ntah pape n hp ko yg canggih tu, u dont have to. i know people who are better than you. FAAAARRRRRRR BEEETTTTEEEERRRRRRR THAN YOU.

i dont like to talk nonsense. if i want to say this on your face, i can. it's just that i respect you as a person who i have known for so long and you are older than me. i hate you seriously. do you think that people care about what you? you are just an attention seeker.

i know im not like anybody else. i dont have nice cellphone or laptop or what so ever. i dont know how to drive. i am totally useless. you dont have to make it worst. why do you have to care what music i listen to. you have a guitar but you dont know how to play a guitar; that is so stupid.

i hate you. i hate you. i want to finish my study so badly so that i can prove to you that i can survive by my own without anybody's help. you dont know what i have been through living away from home and you can say that i know nothing?????????

mampos ko lg bagos!

Confession

She told me, she has a lot of things playing in her mind. She has gone through a lot of problems all year round. She said she has committed too many things that are intolerant. Pity her. There are too many sins she has involved in yet she can't move away even a step from all these things. I think, maybe now is not the right time.

She wants to be somebody that does things accordingly. She wants to be somebody that she really proud of. She wants it so badly but she can’t. She has no idea why she can stop doing aberrant things. She keeps repeating the same mistake over and over.

What she really hopes right now is one day she will repent. I will pray for her.

P/s: Don’t start doing things that you will regret. You will never stop until your deeds hit you.

Kecewa

Aku kecewa bila org2 kt sekeliling aku suka merendah aku walaupun aku x kaco hidup deorg...haish..aku kecewa bila aku dibelakangkan oleh org yg aku salu depankan (betul ke?)mksdnya...aku kecewa bila org yg aku salu utamakan,x utamakan aku..aku kecewa bila aku x buat pa2,slumber ckp aku ada buat pa2...huhu...aku xtaula..aku kuat komplen kot...aku salu ada ja x betol dlm hidup aku..huhu..aku nk pg berasap kt bwh,aku takut ada perogol...huhu...ada anjing ke..huhu...

x semestinya aku diam,aku bodoh..
x semestinya aku muda,aku naif..

banyak org ingt aku ni mentah...mungkin pada pemikiran...sbb aku mls nk pk byk sgt...aku rasa, biarlah aku fikir setakat aku nk fikir..setakat aku rasa aku boleh hidup dgn pemikiran cmtu...pk byk sgt,susah gak..sapa ckp aku x pk byk..setiap mlm sebelum tdo,aku susah nk tdo sbb aku pk byk bnda...walaupun pakcik aku pk aku muda,mentah..dia ingt aku ni xtau byk bnda...mmgla,kalo nk bndingkan dgn de,apala sgt pengetahuan aku ni..kurg2 aku x bising2 mcm tin kosong..bg aku psl org2 tua ni,cm x penting utk aku...de cm childish je aku tgk...de ingt de tua,setiap bnda de wat tu btol la?de ingt d mata aku,nmpk hebat la...come on la pakcik..im 22 years old and i live far away from home..how about you? aku susah aku senang, cuma mmber2 aku je tau...de tau x?no no no....aku ni mmgla dependent tp x suma bnda aku nk mak ayah aku buatkan...jgn ckp aku xtau pa2..aku tau,cuma aku mls nk ckp..aku rasa tindakan de tu mcm budak2...x mcm org tua yang berumur 40 tahun...ee malu la...tolong la pakcik...grow up...ingt suma org suka ko ke?

aku ckp aku xtau,sbb aku mls nk interfere psl org2 tua..org2 tua ni sensitif...ckp sket kecik ati..pstu yg muda2 ni yg kena...de xtau,de pon silap jugak...kta ni x pnah lepas dr wat kesilapan...sbb aku mls nk ckp pape...kejap lg..msti aku gak kena...aku tau..skrg aku xde pe...aku student je...tp aku rasa suma student experienced life mcm aku...sakit perit aku suma aku simpan sorg2...aku kongsi ngn mmber2 aku...aku x ckp ngn mak ayah aku sbb aku xnk deorg susah hati..tp suma org fikir aku ni suka susahkan org...dependent...aku student..aku x knal sapa2 kt cni...mana lg aku nk cari tmpt mntak tolong kalo x kwn2 aku...mak ayah is my last resort..huhu...x cukup duit,aku try wat article..tp org tipu plak..huhu...skrg wat article 1 seringgit pun jadilah...

apa deorg fikir aku ni?sepupu aku yg tua setahun je dr aku,org dh respect de.aku ni ntah bla la nk dpt suma tu...pndai mana pon aku,xda org pk apa aku ckp tu betol..apa yg aku suggest deorg xnk ambik tau...huhu..xpe...sbr je la...

aku suka tulis apa yg wat aku sedih kt cni sbb sal uada mmber aku...skrg de praktikal..so,xde org nk dgr..huhu..dialah pendengar paling setia..biarpun de dh tdo,de bley bgn kalo dgr aku nangis..huhu...susah nk dpt mmber cm de..huhu...encik semandin pon x wat aku cmtu..huhu..

ntahla..aku byk komplen sbb aku ni insan yg x bersyukur kot..tp korg bacalah...korg rasa aku ni x bersyukur ke pe?ke xde kaitan lgsg..ahaha..xpelah..biarlah deorg dgn kehidupan deorg sndiri...

p/s:never once in my life to receive any flower from any guy..i wish i can have one..gudnite anyone...

Do Not Walk Away

This is about a story about a friend of a friend of mine. Her relationship with her boyfriend is easy to describe. They love each other like the couples in typical love story but when they hate each other, it is like tornado meets volcano. When they argue, they hit each other like the Eminem's latest song with Rihanna. It sounds terrible but what can we say about it? This is their relationship; I am afraid that their relationship can't stand longer than what I expected. The girl never stop trying to stand for the relationship they have build for two years and the boy keeps quitting.

Come on dude, if the girl can stand the way you treated her when you both argue, why can't you? She doesn't care what people talk about you when you hit her, why must you care and pretend that you afraid after all that you had done to her?Not even one time she hates you when you hit her, why must you hate her so badly when she did the same? After all, she did that because she is standing for herself. Why must you run away when she wants to talk to you if you are a man? She never stop trying and she expect you to do the same.

So, the moral of the story is please don't walk away when you have a problem.

Outgoing not cheap

Kadang2 aku seyes bengang dgn org yg salu pk aku ni murah. memang la aku salu pakai pakaian yg x sopan..aku pakai suma tu bukan niat aku nk tunjuk betis or apa2 anggota badan aku..biarla apa org nk ckp aku ni apa, yg penting aku pakai suma tu sbb aku selesa. itu mslh deorg la tgk aku tmbh dosa deorg. aku bukan nk ckp aku ni baik. tp kurg2 aku pakai cmtu,aku x kaco hidup org. kalo org mintak tolong,aku tolong.

aku bukan murah kalo aku pakai pakaian yg x sopan. aku bukan murah kalo apa2 yg aku wat yg kt mata org nmpk mcm aku ni pmpuan jalang. smoking is only a bad habit. laki isap rokok jahat ke? so, that applies to ladies.

aku penat nk hidup di kalangan manusia yg suka judge org. kdg2, aku terasa kot bila org pndg aku smcm. aku x kaco hidup de,asal nk tgk aku cmtu.aku beli brg2 aku guna duit de ke? lepas tu, aku kalo aku friendly sket,org take advantage especially guys. sbb tu la aku ni x suka laki dkt dgn aku kecuali boyfriend aku sndiri. walaupun aku pakai baju jolok mata and pakai seluar pendek, aku x bg org sukati sentuh2 aku. once laki tu,tgn de pndai jalan2 kt bdn aku,mmg aku x kwn lgsg la dgn de. even boyfriend aku sndiri pon,aku x knal dgn de cara cmtu kot.

x semestinya,aku pakai baju seksi, aku xtau agama. mak ayah aku tau kot aku smoking. so, apa mslh org lain yg x jaga aku dr kecik smpai besar nk kesah psl aku?

so,kwn2 tolongla jgn pndg serong kt org. selagi org tu x kaco hidup kta,x menyusahkan hidup kta xyhla ckp mcm2..kalo pakai tudung selubung satu tubuh pon,kalo maseh nk mengumpat psl org n ckp org sana sini, apa bezanya dgn aku yg pakai baju x cukup kain?

if you want to be a good muslim, be a very good one. so,far aku cuma tgk 2 3 org je yg cmtu.

nite readers

ps:xyh kecik ati or sakit ati psl post ni.

Success

3 years ago, most people looked down on me. Whenever i want to borrow their notes, they will hand me the notes with annoyed faces. Because i spent most of my time sleeping in the class and skipped most of my classes. At first, i was offended by those faces. After a while, i get used to that faces.

This is not about the faces. This is about success.

For me, the success which i experienced for 3 years and a half in college is not only about the pointers. It is more about gaining respect from people who used to look down on me. There were times when we supposed to have test and most of us did not finish studying including me; one of my friends said that he wanted to copy answers from 2 of my close friends and not me. Well, it may sounds stupid but he didn't realize that the way he said it as if he thought that I am totally stupid and useless.

There were times when i laughed so hard during the lab sessions. well, i didn't mean to play around but my friend kept making these stupid jokes which i couldn't help myself laughing. one of my classmates told me, stop laughing. do you want to fail 2 subjects again? how awful was that?

They fooled me around telling every one how stupid and useless i am that time. i didn't say a word. I kept silent. i thought maybe whatever that they said is true. maybe i am stupid, maybe i am useless.

i told myself to try harder and show them what i got.

after years gone by, my pointers getting better and people who used to look down on me started to put some respect on me. especially those with the annoyed faces.

the morals of the story are:
1. don't look down on people; we don't know their capabilities.
2. don't judge people
3. there are always room for improvements
4. don't be a quitter

*sorry for any grammatical errors, as long as the message is delivered.

Marah

aku asyik marah..huhu...i think it is almost that 'time' of the month..huhu...stress gla kot...x lrt nk bendung perasaan mrh..huhu...dh la kena hujan..dh selsema..cmna nk std ni...huhu...sudah2la hanim..pg la std..asyik tulis blog je..bla nk berjaya..kata nk jadi kaya...ok2...aku nk std ni..bye2..

INSPIRASI KU

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Aku x puas hati!

Tadi aku pg study kt fakulti dgn Encik Semandin. aku baru je nk semangat std waktu siang2 cmni skali dtg kt study room tgk ramai gla org...dlm hati aku berkata 'bagusla budak2 civil ni,suma rajin dtg blaja kt fakulti'...ok...tgk2 xde tmpt..so aku n Encik Semandin pg ke level 9 tgk ada x kelas yg xde org...skali..xde jugak...so,ktaorg pon tuka fikiran pg balik kt study room td mane tau ada tmpt kosong...

kteorg sampai tgk ada 2 tmpt kosong,so cunlah...Encik Semandin pon kuakan laptop de,nk online smbil std..(aku x fhm la cmna dia boleh std smbil online,tp mamposlah)...pastu, tgk2 suis rosak..mmg vavi la kn...Encik Semandin pon x tentu dudok dh...de ckp de try pg library tgk ada tmpt x..aku dh ckp kt de,library time2 std week ni mmg full kot..kalo bley dudok kt tangga,mmg full kot tangga...tp Encik Semandin x caya..so,pglah...tgk cmna...aku plak,sementara tunggu de pg check library, aku try la baca sket2 nota law aku...mmg mcm vavi la nk baca notes dgn org2 kt dlm std room tu borak mcm tu tmpt deorg punya...dlm hati aku mmg byk la sumpah seranah terhadap mereka..haish...

akhirnya, Encik Semandin msg aku ckp library penoh..so skrg aku kt umah tgh tulis blog psl apa yg aku x puas hati..fakulti aku tu,duit byk tp tmpt utk budak2 std kurang...haish..apalah jenis fakulti cmtu...aku ingt lg ada kwn aku pnah ckp 'fakulti kta ni cm tmpt tuisyen je'...hahah..mmg btol pon kalo nk dbandingkan dgn fakulti2 lain..ktaorg punya fakulti,huhu...sedih aku nk ckp...hahaha...patut pon budak2 fakulti aku x btol sgt..kurang perhatian..huhu..

so the moral of the story is for those out there who want to use the study room,please use it for good reasons. not for you to spend your time with your girlfriend or boyfriend...or for you to hang out with your friends and make noise.it is annoying for me and other people who really want to do their revision in the study room..

http://community.eu.playstation.com/t5/image/gallerypage/image-id/16138i4772DA6776D8B53D

tgk baby dh marah..huhu...baby marah aku marah la...aaa...=(

Guilty

I was supposed to do some revisions on elements of environmental engineering and law engineering practice yet look what im doing..i am filling my blog with stupid mumblings and what so ever. as if i have nothing else which have more benefits from this. Haiya!!! dahla reading subjects are the most painful subject that i ever experience in life.. pnah ada kejadian d mana aku menitis air mata sbb aku x larat baca nota..huhu..sakit...sakit..pedih..

walau bagaimanapun,sekarang pukul 2.34 am jadi no point nk baca pa2...kejap lagi aku mungkin akan terbongkang kt tilam dan hidup kembali pada pukul 12 tgh hari besok..dan lepas tu aku teman dia makan,lepas aku smbong tdo balik...pastu aku bangun, aku online pstu check email tgk ada x org tu reply email aku psl article tu, kalo xde, aku sebok2 kt fb org..komen2...pstu aku mandi...buat tu,buat ni...pukul 10 mlm aku start std balik pstu aku hbs std pkl 12 mlm..pstu aku wat bnda sama...haish..kalo hari2 mcm ni,mmg parai la exam aku..huhu..(*parai=mati).

so, to all readers please pray for me...(xtau nk sambong apa)...doalah aku std dgn bersungguh2 besok..huhu...msti std besok!!no tdo tgh hari!!!msti!!!!!

No,no,no don't lie

The first thing im going to say is, I am a Sarawakian. Im very sorry for all Sarawakians because i write my blog in BM since i have friends from all parts of Malaysia. I wish to write in my own language yet it seems to be unfair for my friends which are not from Sarawak.

Well, apa yang terjadi hari ini berkenaan dgn tajuk di atas ialah kes menipu. Dari kecik smpai besar mak ayah dh ajar, jgn jd penipu. Lama2 mencuri. Pantun 2 kerat pon ada ajar tp aku lupa apa jd xyah la ckp apa pantun tu. Aku dh ckp kt ada sorg hamba Allah ni, jgn tipu saya. Tp tipu jugak..dh la kantoi byk kali. tp masih x serik2 jugak..aku penat la kena tipu..walaupun apa yg dia tipu aku tu xla terok sgt tp since aku mmg alergik kt org menipu, jd memang pjg berjela2 la bebelan aku kt dia. padan muka.. nati buatla lg...huhu...

Aku x sure la asal aku cmni. setiap kali org tu tipu aku, x smpai 24 jam msti aku tau dia tipu aku..so what is the point of lying when the people you lied to, know what you are up to. btol x? haish..

I wish that the person i have mentioned above, please dont try to repeat the same thing all over again. this life is like a karma. what goes around, comes around. DON'T LIE.

ps:sorry for my grammatical error since kadang2 ada org bley terganggu dgn kesilapan tatabahasa hahaha....=)

CMNILAH NASIB KO KALO KO TIPU LAGI!!

Billionaire by Travis McCoy feat Bruno Mars

I love to listen to this song since this song seriously about what i really want in life.

I want to be a billionaire so freaking bad,
Buy all of the things i never had
I want to be the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queens

Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
For when I’m a billionaire

Each time i feel bad about my financial status, this song as if gives me some hope that one day i will be somebody who are totally out of financial problems.
I don't want to be billionaire (billionaire sounds kinda overwhelming), i just want to have just enough money to have a good life where i can help my parents and buy all the things that i want.

2010

aku rasa tahun 2010 is the worst year ever. dugaan x henti2..every month ada.aku bosan la..seyes aku bosan..suma libatkan duit..huhu..aku nk jugak rasa org beli brg2 n hepi2 smbil berlari kegembiraan kt shopping complex n pstu beli brg online n click mana2 de suka n x pyh kira bajet yg ada. huhu...im sick..seriously..i want to have fun with my money like others. dh la skrg bekalan hidup makin mhl..huhu...aku x fhm cmne bley makin mhl..padahal rasa sama ja..dh la skrg aku tgh sangap trok. huhu..seyes..otak aku xley jalan langsung.aku cuma mampu terkulai kt sudut ruang tamu smbil taip2 je apa aku suka. aku x lrt tgk tv,x lrt lyn fb, x lrt tulis article. aku berdoa semoga tahun ni berlalu dgn cepat. aku dh x tahan setiap kali aku rasa suma masalah aku selesai,next thing i know another problem is coming. huhu...aku x rasa aku boros. aku x kua pon setiap minggu. duit yg ayah aku bg suma aku guna nk beli brg2 keperluan. bekalan hidup aku cuma aku beli 2 kotak je seminggu. top up and the rest suma mknn..brg2 suma dh nek harga n aku adalah antara mangsa nya..bila aku nk kaya ni??aku dh penat cari kerja online..tulis article suma..pstu pnah kna tipu plak tu..penat2 aku tulis 6 article.selambe je org tu ckp xnk byr aku..haish..penat nk ckp sbb pe,lg aku ingt lg serabut kepala aku.huhu..i know they are a lot of people out there who have bigger problems as compared to mine,but seriously i cannot bear anymore problems in my life..Life..please give me a break..let me enjoy this chapter of life being a 22 years old fat lady...huhu...

certain things are better left unsaid

sometimes, certain people just cant understand why some issues are better left unexplained. they can be quite annoying when it comes to a condition where there are too concern about us. it is not that it is wrong to be concern to people but it is better to keep it low as some people are not comfortable to tell things to other especially when it is about their personal life. so those out there, when you have friends who have problems, dont push them too hard to tell you what is happening. let them spill their stories themselves. it takes time for them to tell you what is going on.

alamak...saya tersilap

oh..aku tersilap...rupanya konsert paramore hari ni...bukan semlm..huhu...tp cm xde kesan la kt aku...esok ke..smlm ke...minggu dpn ke...tahun dpn ke..aku tetap xley pg..huhu...dh la bekalan hidup tinggal 2 bar lg..waa!!!have to wait until thursday for my bantuan kewangan..huhu...sadis...sadis...huhu...

hampa

hari ini ada konsert paramore..huhu...no money to buy the tickets...cuma mampu mendengar kawan2 pergi dgn hati gembira..huhu...(mahu menangis)...tp xpe..mungkin satu hari nanti,aku bukan setakat bley pg konsert paramore,aku mungkin berpeluang untuk ganti guitarist paramore...(mimpi di siang hari)...minta maaf...ini kali pertama ceta pasal diri sndiri kt blog,so agak plek sedikit...baru je nk buat uncertainty pnye pastyear...tp bateri calculator habis riwayat hidup plak..(ayat penuh skema)...haha..penat je bgn awal..nk sambong tdo,cm rasa bersalah plak...huhu...saya tidak mahu tido..xpe,kejap lg aku try baca notes environment kot..duit tggl rm2.50..huhu...aku tpaksa tunggu smpai khamis baru leh mkn enak2 sket...waaaaa!!!=(...nmpknya kena tunggu hari khamis baru bley beli bateri calculator..huhu...sadisnya hidup aku...aku berharap kejap lg ada duit rm50 masok dlm akaun aku..amin...amin...